Sunday, 21 May 2017

9 signs you should press pause right now and give back to yourself.

When you say “personal development,” some people automatically think of Tony Robbins or of positive thinking and lots of clapping, cheering and walking on fire.

Personal development is developing you beyond where you are currently now. Only 10% of the population do any kind of development after university.

The thing about change is that it is constant. In nature, nothing stays still, if it did we wouldn’t have butterflies.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Nathaniel Branden

Growing is inherent in the human race, to flourish, to take ourselves beyond our current circumstances and achieve great things. Growth and contribution, needs of the spirit.

“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” Aristotle

At some stage though some of us hit a point where we settle with how things are, we have achieved a certain amount of success and life is good, it’s pretty comfortable. We can become ok with the way life is now.

After chasing a career that would help me provide for my young family, I was about 4 years into my whirlwind love affair with the success that I went to holiday in New Zealand, my boss forced me to go on holiday without my phone. It took that kind of removal from my every day and getting out into the mountains for me to realise how disconnected I had become from my wife and my family. I was drinking wine at night to relax and to sleep, coffee in the morning just to wake up and cans of Coke in the afternoon just to get me through.

I wasn’t swimming, riding or getting out into the mountains half as much as I used to.

We suppress those hidden desires and dreams we had when we were young. At some point, the universe will force us to stop suppressing those thoughts, those feelings and demand us to listen.

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” Abraham Maslow

But what if the universe didn’t have to? What if we decided to take action and say,  “I won't suppress those feelings any longer”.

Throughout my life, it always took a major life event for me to change. This time I made the decision to consciously give back to myself, bring things into balance and lose all the weight I had slowly gained and reconnect with my family and myself.

Before we decide to act we need to be aware that there might be a few areas of our lives that might need work.

Below are 9 signs that it is time to make changes in your life before the inevitable happens.

1.     1. You wake at night thinking about work and can’t get back to sleep.

2.     2. You check emails in bed or first thing when you wake up.

3.     3. You have 20 things on your mind at once.

4.     4. 10kg -20kg overweight or haven’t been on the scales in a while.

5.     5. You feel guilty when you over eat and your favourite beverage in the arvo is a can of Coke.

6.     6. You tell yourself everything is ok when someone asks how you are you answer “I’m fine” or “not bad”.

7.     7. You find yourself telling your kids “I can’t right now I am too busy” or “I just need to finish this first then I will come out”.

8.     8. You don’t take enough annual leave for fear that the place will fall apart without you or when you do take leave you take your phone with you.

9.     9. You feel disconnected to those you care about, you’re not present and in the moment with them.

“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Abraham Maslow

Once we become aware that there are areas of our lives that might need attention, it's time to take action. The deciding is the easy part, taking the consistent action can be a little harder if your reason for changing isn’t strong enough. What is your big reason why this is important to you?

Pick one of the above that stands out for you and focus on it for a week. When you catch yourself in your old habit don’t beat yourself up for it. Reset and go again, there is no right or wrong this is about slowly improving a day at a time.

“You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” Brene Brown

Maybe things are going incredibly well for you and maybe you don’t need to change, that’s awesome. What does the next level look like to you? How can you make a conscious decision to work less and earn more, to contribute more, strengthen your relationships, get fitter, stronger, healthier, be a better parent, be more mindful, fulfilled and grateful for all the wonderful things in your life.

“Quality is not an act, it is a habit.” Aristotle
If you find yourself stuck, lacking motivation I can help. 

 Book a first mindset session with me, instead of $250 I want to offer it to you for $50. Let's get you back in the game. riseup@thephoenixexperience.com.au
About the author. Daniel is a motivational speaker, facilitator, mindset coach and takes busy professionals on life changing experiences. A chance to press pause on your busy routine and reflect on what is truly important.
Posted by at 3 comments:

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

You could never be that successful!

At least that’s what I told myself anyway. Bull***t!
For years I told myself I wasn’t disciplined, so I would never be as successful as I wanted to be. It was a story I believed.
I always admired disciplined people and associated that quality with one of the cornerstones of success. Through my research on personal development and the habits of successful people, they all say you have got to have discipline and one theme was very common: their morning routine.
They get up every day at 5 am.
Exercise
Meditate
Gratitude journal
Visualize their goals
Prioritize their day
Read or listen to something inspirational
There is no way I could get up at 5 am every day and commit to a routine like that, I am simply not disciplined enough to do that, I might do it for a week or so then slowly start to sleep in again or miss days (at least that’s the story I told myself).
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” Jim Rohn
I love variety; I had confused variety with the lack of routine. I saw routine as a bad thing, I guess I have been like that my whole life, I never knew what I wanted to do in life, I always took on work that had lots of variety, tried lots of sports and lived in many different places. 
“The secret of happiness is variety, but the secret of variety, like the secret of all spices, is knowing when to use it.” Daniel Gilbert 
Growing up, a friend and I started working for Queensland Rail and he had the plan all laid out for the rest of his life; move up into head office then retire early and start a remedial massage business. I take my hat off to him to having a solid plan so early but for me, I barely knew what I was doing that weekend.
Then when I was 20 I was a passenger in a single vehicle accident that left me with a shattered spine and neck and the news that I may never walk again. Thankfully I learned to walk again and knew I was saved for a reason and that I was meant to do something meaningful with my life. I wasn't sure what that something was so I spent a lot of money and a lot of years doing courses and personal development to try to figure out what it was. 
To be honest, I never truly committed to anything, asking myself "is this what I want to do for the rest of my days?" When the real reason was, I told myself that I "wasn’t disciplined enough" to commit to that for the rest of my days.
Over the years I have trained hard, stopped drinking and managed my diet from time to time. I completed post-grad studies with a newborn in the house, but I never saw myself as disciplined. It wasn't until 7 months ago I gave up sugar, bread and reduced my carb intake to go on the "Keto" diet. Someone said to me you are so disciplined, you gave up sugar and you look great, you have lost all this weight. I thanked them for their kind words but I was still thinking to myself, “I am not a very disciplined person at all.”
“Few men are born brave. Many become so through training and force of discipline.” Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus
I hadn't thought of what I was doing in that way. It got me thinking all about it, then it came to me, discipline has a negative context to it and seemed like this huge obstacle to overcome (for me anyway).
discipline
ˈdɪsɪplɪn/
1.The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.
"a lack of proper parental and school discipline"
synonyms: control, regulation, direction, order, authority, rule, strictness, a firm hand.
In school, we are taught that we either get things right or wrong and you get disciplined for being wrong. 
I came to the realization that discipline is just a choice. I choose to do something or I choose not to. It's simply a decision at that moment. 
It's a choice to press the snooze button and not get up early.
It's a choice to not eat that piece of cake.
It's a choice to exercise more.
It's a choice to be happier and kind to people.
It's a choice to drink less alcohol.
It's a choice to drink water instead of soft drink or soda.
It's all a choice. Sounds easy right? Yes in theory, but there is the catch. It's taking action that is hard because nothing happens without action. To make the right choice you need to know your outcome, you have to. What is your big reason why? What is so important to you that it will make this choice a no-brainer? When the goal outweighs the decision, it makes the choice very easy.
“The word “discipline” originates from the Latin word disciplina which means “instruction” and derives from the root discere which means “to learn.” The word discipulus which means “disciple or pupil” also stems from this word. So in a very fundamental sense, discipline can be considered systematic instruction given to a disciple.”
Discipline is in the simplest terms a set of instructions that we choose to give ourselves and take action on them that will lead us to our goals and dreams.
“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.” Buddha 
You are either loyal to your goals or your excuses. I am happy to say that I have started my morning routine getting up at 5 am every day and it’s going incredibly well. If you had have told me that I would wake at 5 am every day 6 months ago I would have laughed. That’s a topic for another Blog. 
What we say to ourselves has a huge impact on us, more than we realize. Don’t let your opinion of yourself become your reality, change your mindset and you can do those things you want to do. 
If you find yourself stuck, lacking motivation I can help. 
Book a first mindset session with me, instead of $250 I want to offer it to you for $50. Let's get you back in the game. riseup@thephoenixexperience.com.au
Join me on this journey below.
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)